


maybe when the stars align

by aphrodaisyacs



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Role Reversal, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Canonical Character Death, Child of Thanos Peter Quill, Emotional Manipulation, F/M, Filicide, Gaslighting, Gen, He actually TRIES though, Implied underage drinking, Mantis is Peter's half-sibling, Ravager Gamora, Thanos vs Ego Custody Battle, Thanos’ A+ Parenting, Torture, Yondu’s A+ Parenting, including but not limited to:
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-04
Updated: 2019-04-04
Packaged: 2020-01-04 17:50:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18348665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aphrodaisyacs/pseuds/aphrodaisyacs
Summary: In a different universe, the ship that descends upon Earth to abduct Peter belongs to Thanos. In a different universe, Gamora hitches a ride with the Ravagers to escape her war-torn planet.





	maybe when the stars align

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [This Time Around](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1926774) by [27dragons](https://archiveofourown.org/users/27dragons/pseuds/27dragons). 



> I present to you- “daddy issues: the fic”

When Peter first met Thanos, it went like this:

He thought Thanos was his father.

One of the first things Thanos said to him was “You don’t belong here. You belong with the stars.”

_(“You belong with the stars, Peter. Just like your daddy.”)_

One of the first things Thanos did was coax the light out of Peter’s hands.

“Now close your eyes and concentrate- reach your mind out to the galaxy.”

_(“He was an angel. Composed of pure light.”)_

It made him ignore the way Thanos’ shadow loomed like Death in the dark mist.

It made him miss the fact that the giant hands cupping his face out of pride were also muffling his Grandpa’s frantic calls for him.

So when Thanos reached out a hand just as the light from above engulfed them both…

Peter reached back.

 

* * *

 

When Gamora first met Yondu, it went like this:

“Please! It’s just the two of us! I might not have much but I can also cook and clean!”

“You think you’re the first one to say that, woman? Well I got one word for you: Scram!”

“No please, then just my daughter- Gamora, she’s only eight!”

“For the last time, no! Ugh, all the the cheap fuel in this shithole ain’t worth this.”

“Please, I beg you- I’ll do anything, just let Gamora get out of here safely! She- she can even be your slave, just take her somewhere else!”

Yondu, like most Ravagers, had a notoriously short temper. And like most Ravagers, that temper tended to be explosive- violent, and sometimes even deadly.

It was rare then, to see his anger run colder than ice.

Gamora found herself torn away from her mother’s grip with such force that she nearly fell face-first onto the dirt.

“I’ll take the girl then.”

 

* * *

 

 

“Can I visit Grandpa?” Peter learnt not to ask.

“Your grandfather hates you,” Thanos always said. “He blames you for your mother’s death because you couldn’t control your powers.”

“But that’s not true!” Peter learnt not to say, as his memories of firm hugs smelling like cigarette smoke faded after each day.

“I miss Earth,” Peter learnt not to say.

“Why?” Thanos always said. “There’s nothing left for you there. Now you have the galaxy within your reach.”

But the only thing within Peter’s reach was the warm light that pulsed within him and the cold, dead ground beneath his feet.

“I just want to go home,” Peter never said. Because he wasn’t even sure what that meant anymore.

Perhaps it meant nights where he played his walkman as he laid in his cot, pretending that he was lying on the grass as his mother, happy and _alive,_ shared her music with him. Or perhaps it meant nights where he carefully held his mother’s unopened present, before the guilt forced him to shove it back into his backpack.

For Peter, home was the pieces of his mother’s memory that Thanos hadn’t taken away from him. Home was what Peter had left to remember that even if his family did hate him like Thanos said…  

His mother did love him, once upon a time.

 

*

 

Peter hated Ebony.

When Thanos first introduced him to his new older brother, he had told Peter that Ebony would help him get stronger. Ebony’s knife-sharp grin and the power woven from his spidery fingers promised exactly that, and something else entirely.

Thanos told Ebony to spar with Peter. Ebony twisted the walls from around them and threw them at Peter, again and again, until he passed out from the pain. Next time he flipped the ground from beneath their feet and crushed Peter under it until he could no longer breathe. But just before the world was swallowed by darkness, light erupted desperately from Peter’s entire being, obliterating his earthen prison. It wasn’t enough though, because the world was still spinning and Peter’s fumbling control over his powers protected him against Ebony about as well as a sheet of paper against pouring rain.

Again and again, Peter tried to fight back. But again and again, he woke up with yet another body part damaged beyond repair. Yet another body part to be replaced by metal.

“You have powers, little one,” Thanos said. He looked disappointed. Peter felt a twinge where his heart used to be. “Why don’t you use them?”

Peter didn’t even know if he was improving or not. He just fought and fought and fought, as hard as he could.

Until one day, he managed to finally wrestle the needles of light from Ebony’s control and turn them against him. He even made them into the shape of a giant shark because he could.

“Well done, my son,” Thanos smiled. They watched the blood get mopped off the training room floors. It was what happened when your legs got bitten off by a shark, real or not.

Thanos found it amusing. It was the second time he had ever looked at Peter with such pride.

Peter wanted to smile back. But victory tasted bitter, like blood.

 

*

 

Nebula was Peter’s favourite sibling.

There wasn’t much competition, really- Proxima and Corvus always looked at him as if he was a squashed bug. Cull always looked at him as if he was a bug to be squashed. And the less said about Ebony the better.

Nebula only sparred against him on the occasions where Thanos wanted Peter to focus on his hand-to-hand. Whenever he won, she got dragged away and returned more metal, less flesh. Whenever she won, Peter got dragged away back to Ebony.

But outside of the training grounds, Nebula always hovered curiously in his peripheral, just out of reach. They did talk, but she was always so tense, wary, like she was expecting to be hurt. It reminded Peter of the stray cats in his old neighbourhood that he had tried to feed and pet, before his Grandpa found out and shooed them away. She even had that same glimmer of hope in her eyes when Peter didn’t betray the inch of trust that she reluctantly gave him.

So she practically bristled and hissed at him when he tried to share his mother’s music with her.

“What’s this?”

“It’s my walkman.”

“But it doesn’t have legs and it’s not a man.”

“No, you’re supposed to use it for music. Here.”

She looked at the headphones he held out as if they were going to electrocute her, but she slowly slipped them on.

Having a new friend, a new sister, made Peter’s new life more bearable. In between missions where Thanos sent them out to kill, they huddled together in quiet corners to listen to Peter’s walkman. They never spoke to each other in those moments- Peter, too busy grasping at the bittersweet memories of his mother’s toothy grin and her twinkling blue eyes. Nebula, he wasn’t sure; he could only assume that she too considered the soft, crooning voices of 10cc to be a cocoon of safety from their living hell.

 

*

 

Peter sparred. He fought. He was broken into pieces, then put together again.

He clung to his music until his walkman became just as much of a part of him as his blades and the warm light thrumming in his veins.  

He killed.

And killed.

He killed until he became Star-Lord, the most feared assassin in the galaxy.

 

* * *

 

 

Gamora was ten the first time she and Yondu fought.

It wasn’t the first time he had raised his voice at her- far from it. Yondu always seemed to find one thing or the other to yell at her for, especially in front of the other Ravagers. And most of the time, nothing stopped her from screaming back.

But it was the first time his bark was accompanied by his bite.

“Kraglin! Take this thing out and shut the damn door before it can get back in!”

“No! Leave Stripe alone! Give him back to me!”

“Does this ship look like a zoo to you? You’re lucky I caught it before we took off. You bring one more mutt on board and we’re dumping you at the next stop, ya hear me?”

“Stripe’s my friend! Just because _you_ don’t have any-”

“When I picked you up as a kid, these boys wanted to eat you. Zehoberei are so rare they’re a treat now. I stopped ‘em. You’re alive because of me!”

“What do you care anyway? You only keep me around ‘cause I’m a slave you got for free!”

But he didn’t continue yelling, like she had come to expect. Instead, she was met with silence.

Until…

“...You think you know a damn thing about what being a slave’s like? Huh? You think you get to throw that word ‘round like you know what it means?!”

His voice rose with his anger, but his words became more frigid. The red fire in Yondu’s eyes turned cold as stone.

Even Gamora couldn’t help but shiver.

She sometimes wondered if she had imagined the Yondu whose anger stung sharper than frostbite- the man who had taken her from her mother. It was a side of him that she never saw again, until that moment.

(Years later, she would find out that Yondu had been sold as a slave when he was a baby)

(Years later, she would look back at this moment and feel that she might understand him, just a little more)

 

*

 

Gamora’s mum used to tell her that she was too curious for her own good. Too inquisitive. But she always smiled when she said it, running her fingers down her daughter’s hair to tease the knots out of the deep red curls.

Once, when Yondu wasn’t looking, Gamora tried to use his arrow. She hid away in a half-forgotten storage room and tried to fly the arrow in a deadly streak of red, just the way Yondu did it. But no matter how hard she whistled, the arrow wouldn’t budge. It didn’t take long for Yondu to find her, spitting anger from his lips to hide the worry in his eyes.

Gamora clenched her fists and waited to be left behind on the ship at their next stop.

But instead, Yondu took her in one hand and a crate of weapons in the other to an isolated part of the woods. For a horrifying moment she thought she was being walked to her execution- for touching that damn arrow? _Really?_

But when they stop, Gamora found a blaster shoved into her hands.

She stared at it.

“Well? What are you waiting for?”

“... You’re gonna teach me how to shoot them?”

“‘Course I am! You’re a Ravager, ain’t ya? Now get over here before I change my mind.”

It would take years for her to realise that Yondu spoke his heart through his actions, not his words. He barked at her for every mistake she made, but he always grinned when she got it right. And after she hit her first bird in the tree on the other side of the clearing, he laughed and poured Gamora her first glass of ale.

For the first time since leaving Zen-Whoberi, she grinned back.

 

*

 

Loneliness was a familiar friend.

Gamora was just a girl amongst Ravagers, and every time she stepped onto a different planet she found her eyes searching for familiar dark red curls framing green skin. She was just a girl amongst Ravagers, and the only women she could talk to were the occasional prostitutes. They were usually really nice to her though, and she’d learnt to appreciate the genuine smiles behind smudged lipstick as they gave her life advice.

But in the end, they always left.

Gamora dreamt about leaving too. She dreamt about running away, stealing a ship and flying away. Perhaps she’d try finding her mother; a part of her hoped that she was still alive, and they’ll meet again someday. But then she’d remember that the last time they saw each other, the woman she had loved and trusted with all her heart tried to sell her to Yondu. As a _slave._ Gamora’s mind knew it was a desperate attempt to get her off the planet safely, but her heart still stung at the memory.

Then one day, Gamora’s dream came true.

She did steal a ship. And she did fly away. And Yondu went ballistic, just like she knew he would.

(Except he wasn’t angry, not really. Months later, the package he sent her contained a single switchblade- dual blades connecting at a red-studded hilt. It told her, more than words could, that he was proud that she could take care of herself)

 

*

 

Gamora kept a collection of knives, most of which she’d nicked from unsuspecting pockets. She also kept a collection of guns, most of which she’d slipped off bar counters when ignorant backs were turned. But no matter how much she gambled, what she sold off, her switchblade remained her greatest treasure- a priceless piece she always kept sheathed close to her heart.

In between jobs, she drifted through the galaxy. She was a thief and a smuggler and she was freer than she had ever been.

But she was still a Ravager at heart, and being alone was its own cage. She never started her own clan, even years after leaving Yondu’s. She never even formed a crew for her ship.

Loneliness was a familiar friend, after all.

 

* * *

 

 

Peter is eighteen when Thanos gains a new enemy.

It begins with a lost shipment of supplies. Then another. And another. Then several Chitauri ships get destroyed. Again and again. An incident here and there, spread out over the years, seemingly at random.

Peter has the feeling that Thanos knows exactly who the culprit is, even though he never acts on it. Immediately after each incident, Thanos always orders Peter to the training grounds before sitting back, a silent spectator in every fight. As if it is somehow Peter’s fault that the attacks are happening.

Thanos never acts on it, until one day, Corvus and Proxima’s latest attempt to retrieve the Mind Stone fails.

He summons Peter, and gives him a new mission.

_A Celestial,_ Thanos’ warning rings through Peter’s mind.

_Ego._

 

*

 

When Peter first meets his real father, it goes like this:

“It _is_ you. Star-Lord. After all these years, I’ve found you.”

“...Why the hell are you so happy to see me? I’m here to _kill_ you.”

“Of course you are! Now tell me, your name’s Peter isn’t it? That’s what your mother wanted to name you.”

Ego is his real father. His real father who, after hearing of an assassin whose powers are eerily similar to his own, was infuriated to learn about the weapon that Thanos had forged his son into.

“So I had to get on his bad side somehow,” Ego says. “He’s always sending his so-called ‘Children’ off to do the dirty work for him. I’ve been waiting for the day he sends you to me.”

Ego is his real father, who has finally come to take him home.

For the first time since living amongst the stars, Peter allows himself to hope.

 

*

 

At first, Peter doesn’t know what to think of Ego’s companion.

Mantis is eager, yet timid. Her smiles are forced, yet her eyes are kind. She shrinks back from Ego whenever he turns her way, yet she can put him to sleep with a single touch.

“Ego found me in my larva state,” she tells Peter, antennas twitching as she answers his unspoken curiosity. “Orphaned on my homeworld. He raised me by hand, and kept me.”

Peter thinks about Thanos, who took him from his family in the wake of his mother’s death. Raised him with blood and death, and kept him, like an attack dog.

Ego is very vocal about his agreement with Peter’s inner sentiments, and when he isn’t throwing insults at the Mad Titan he is reminiscing about Meredith Quill. Peter had daydreamed about this, having a real dad to whisk him away to a better life, one where they just… get to spend time with each other. One where his Celestial powers could be used as a ball in catch rather than a blade at someone’s neck.

(One where Thanos is little more than a distant memory)

Everything is perfect.

Almost.

Peter doesn’t notice Mantis meekly fading into the background, but he does notice that the more Ego shows him around the planet, the more she hunches her shoulders and wrings her hands. And when he does manage to catch her gaze, her dark eyes are wide with guilt and regret.

He forces himself to look away- she’s staring at him as if she’s mourning him.

 

*

 

“Something’s going on. What is it?”

Mantis chokes under his grip.

“You’re… you’re not scared.” She sounds almost confused. “You’re… betrayed.”

Peter abruptly lets go.

“You know,” he hisses instead. “Whatever it is, you know.”

She doesn’t deny it. It’s as if she’s been waiting for him to confront her.

In the night, after putting Ego to sleep, Mantis leads Peter through a maze of underground caves.

She leads him right to a mountain of skeletons.

“... Who are they?” Peter asks when he’s finally able to breathe again.

“His children. Because they can’t use his powers.” She swallows. “The only reason I’m not with them is because I’m still useful.”

He stares down at his hands.

“But I…”

She shakes her head. Even in the dark, he can see the tears glistening in her eyes.

“He wants to use you like a battery. He doesn’t have enough power by himself to…”

“To what?”

But Mantis doesn’t get to tell him, because striding up behind them, Ego answers for her.

 

*

 

Peter sees and feels nothing but white.

He’s being drained, but he is overflowing. He knows there’s pain, but his mind has been swallowed by the universe.

“Peter!”

A sharp tug, and suddenly he’s in the hallway again. His breath evens out and everything slides into focus again, including the armoured figure of Thanos.

His heart sinks.

_No._

“Get off my planet, you thief,” Ego snarls.

“Not until I’ve taken back what belongs to me.”

“He’s _my_ son.”

“You didn’t raise him.”

“Oh I’ve heard about you- the Mad Titan, a bloodthirsty menace, a plague upon the universe. Do you really think you can win against _me,_ on my own planet?”

Thanos raises his blade in answer.

It is terrifying and thrilling all at once- the battle between the god made of light and the Mad Titan whose shadow reeks of death. The ground beneath them trembles with terror and the air roars their mutual fury.

In another world, Peter might have stayed to save the universe.

But in this one, he has no choice but to run.

 

*

 

Peter had come to Ego’s planet in search of a father, and now he’s leaving with a sister in tow.

He is already halfway across the galaxy with Mantis in their stolen ship when he suddenly feels it-

It’s as if something has been unplugged from him; the light which had steadily pulsed in his veins for as long as he can remember, suddenly…

Gone.

In that moment he _knows_ \- he no longer has his powers.

The powers that Thanos had stolen him from Earth for. The powers that Ego wanted to use to warp the universe.

Gone.

Peter feels as if every inch of his being has been scraped raw. He’s empty now. Empty, but clean.

If Ego had lost, then that means Thanos is after Peter. But without his powers, without his strongest weapon, he’s useless now. Disposable, even. Because Thanos doesn’t collect his failures in a mountain of bones, he crushes them beneath his feet until his footsteps are stained by their blood.

So Peter runs.

 

* * *

 

 

Gamora is twenty-three when she nearly dies snatching the Orb from right under Korath’s nose. She considers herself lucky, really- it’s only her second near-death experience this month. And the Orb is definitely worth more than enough to get her back on her feet again after her latest spree at the Aeon Casino.

Of course she isn’t handing it over to Yondu.

“I slaved putting this deal together-”

“You made a few calls is what you did-”

“-and now you’re gonna rip me off!”

“-but _I’m_ the one who doesn’t know what ‘slaved’ means?”

“We do not do that to each other. We’re Ravagers. We got a code.”

“What code? We’re nothing more than honourless _thieves_.”

They shout at each other until Gamora cuts the call in a huff. She squashes down the churning guilt because she _needs_ the money, more than Yondu does.

But as she speeds her way towards Xandar, it is hard not to feel bad when her only companion is the white noise of the Milano’s thrumming engine.

 

*

 

When Gamora first meets her best friends, it happens like this:

Nebula is trying to kill her over that damn Orb.

Rocket and Groot are after her bounty because she didn’t hand that damn Orb over to Yondu.

The moment Peter and Mantis see that damn Orb, they shed their tourist disguises.

As the cherry on top of the chaotic mess unravelling around her, Gamora’s chance to escape manifests in the form of an unexpected family reunion between two of her attackers.

“ _You._ You traitor! Get away from the Orb, you don’t deserve it!”

“Look, I’m sorry, I really am, but the universe doesn’t deserve to be destroyed by Thanos.”

“I thought you were my brother. But you left me. You left me and _replaced_ me!”

“Ugh no, Mantis isn’t- I’m sorry, okay? Look, I know what this looks like, but it’s kind of a long story which _I’ll tell you,_ if you let me have the Orb. You can even join us, if you want, and Thanos can go screw himself.”

If Gamora had been paying attention to the drama, she would’ve noticed the way Nebula’s indecision hangs in the air. Instead, she continues crawling towards the Orb, determined to leave unnoticed with her prize.

But just as her fingertips graze the metal casing, all hell breaks loose.

Her body is suddenly on fire and her muscles seize up. Rocket’s cackling rings in her ears and Nebula’s angry cries pound against her skull. Gamora can’t even tell if the darkness enveloping her is the loss of consciousness or the burlap sack Groot has been dragging around.

In Gamora’s third near-death experience that month, she passes out before getting arrested with the misfits she’ll learn to value with her life.

 

*

 

Peter can almost taste the anger buzzing in the air. Next to him, he feels Mantis shrink back from the jeers pelted at them from every direction.

His fingers twitch for his confiscated blades.

_“You first!”_

_“You first, Nebula!”_

Their eyes spit acid, their lips drip hatred.

Nebula snarls back at the other prisoners with just as much venom. Out of habit Peter finds himself reaching a comforting hand out to her arm, but he stops when she turns her glare on him as well.

Her glares keep everyone away, but Peter is nothing if not a stubborn asshole when he wants to be.

“Nebula-”

“I’m _not_ listening to the traitor who ran away like a coward,” she spits.

“I know. I’m sorry. But I had to leave, because Thanos would’ve killed me if I hadn’t.”

“ _You?_ His precious, half-Celestial son? You’re his favourite.”

“Ha! Not anymore. I’m basically useless to him right now.”

Nebula narrows her eyes at him.

“How?”

Peter shrugs.

“Like I’ve said, long story. Maybe I’ll get the chance to tell you after we escape, if that raccoon isn’t talking out of his ass.”

Unexpectedly, Nebula hesitates.

“What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know where you’re going. But after I leave this place, I’m going back to Ronan.”

“No.”

“I have a mission to complete.”

“ _No._ If Ronan gets that stone, he’ll kill us all.”

“Then I’m going straight to Thanos.”

“That’s _even worse._ Come on, Nebula, please- you don’t have to do this.”

Her answering silence makes his heart sink. But Peter is nothing if not a stubborn asshole when he wants to be, and he’s going to change her mind.

 

*

 

They break out of The Kyln, but Peter goes back for his walkman.

(Nebula stays)

 

*

 

“Why would you risk your life for this?”

Peter smiles wryly down at the strange box-like device in his hands.

“My mother gave it to me. I… I don’t have much left from Earth.”

Gamora’s curiosity is drowned out by a wave of sympathy.

“Did Thanos destroy your home planet too?”

“Oh, no. It’s kinda weird, now that I think about it, but the only thing he took from Earth was me. He must’ve thought that a half-Celestial would be useful. Not that I’m much more than a normal human at this point.”

Oh.

“So that… thing. What do you do with it?”

There’s another part to that box-like device- it looks like a headband, and Peter eases it onto her head like one. A melody engulfs her ears, and under the sky of stars and colours she finds herself pulled into a slow dance before she even realises it.

It’s… pleasant.

She likes this side of him, the side which doesn’t seem so cold and hardened. His eyes, a soft and pleasant green, look so much warmer up close like this when their breaths are almost touching.

But a sudden crash shatters the moment. Gamora feels exasperation well up within her when she realises who the shouting belongs to- can’t Nebula and Rocket play nice for just a minute?

She turns around to look back at Peter, and tries not to feel too disappointed at the way his expression has closed off again.

 

*

 

Seeing Yondu again is like falling back into old habits. It is getting into a shouting match with him again, it is standing tall against the jeers of the other Ravagers. It is being held at arrowpoint and striking a deal with him: the safety of millions of lives, for the Orb.

Yondu’s grin is sharp when he claps her on the back, but his eyes twinkle with amusement and pride.

 

*

 

They are a complete mess, all of them. They are jagged puzzle pieces that refuse to fit together.

They are going to stop Ronan from wiping out billions of innocent lives.

A bunch of jackasses, standing in a circle.

Friends who are ready to die for each other.

 

*

 

“We are Groot.”

 

*

 

There is no dance-off. There is only Gamora, and her attempt to entrap Ronan into a debate about his actions. There is only Gamora, and her distraction allowing for Mantis to sneak up and put him in a trance through a firm squeeze around his fingers.

And then Rocket fires at the Infinity Stone.

 

*

 

Mantis is the first to grab the Stone. Ego’s planet might be dead but she is still part-Celestial, even if she never had access to the powers. Gamora, the next closest, manages to grab onto her friend’s smouldering skin soon after.

Struggling against the power and pain electrifying every cell of her body, Gamora barely manages to make out the figure of Peter fighting to get closer.

“Peter! Take my hand!”

_(“Take my hand, Peter.”)_

_“Mum.”_

“Take my hand!”

Peter reaches back.

 

*

 

The blue ribbon unravels from its knot. It’s been twenty years, and Peter thinks he finally might be able to tear off the wrapping without trembling fingers.

_Awesome Mix Vol. 2_

The cassette tape slots in with a soft _click,_ and a few seconds later Marvin Gaye’s voice drifts from the speakers.

He stares, entranced, at the slowly-spinning tape, and tries to blink away the emotions blurring his vision.

His trained ears pick up on the footfalls from leather boots, and he looks up to see Nebula. She looks back with hard unreadable eyes, but the tension in her shoulders give away her uncertainty.

Peter scoots over on the bench, and she wordlessly sits down next to him.

They don’t say anything.

They listen.

 

*

 

“So,” Peter begins, leaning against the top of Gamora’s seat. “What should we do next? Something good? Something bad? A bit of both?”

She tilts her head back. His face looks a bit odd from this angle, but it’s definitely something she can get used to.

“Hm… how about a bit of both?”

Peter smiles back.

“Whatever you say, Captain.”

 

* * *

 

 

“Your father killed my brother.”

“Stop! Peter hates him just as much as you do.”

“Yeah, and he’s not my father. He killed my real father too, actually. Not that he didn’t deserve it, but still.”

And a part of Peter, twisting in a sickening knot in his stomach, suspects that Thanos has killed Nebula too- because there’s no way she’d ignore their comm calls for two weeks straight.

He stiffens when he feels a sudden weight on his shoulder. He doesn’t expect to see the sincerity in Thor’s remaining eye.

“Families can be tough.”

A complete stranger shouldn’t understand, but for some reason Peter believes that Thor genuinely does. He allows his initial dislike of the man to soften a bit.

Just a bit.

 

*

 

“I need to ask a favour.”

Gamora pauses in the middle of sharpening of her favourite switchblade. She has never seen Peter look so grim, even in the early days of knowing him.

“What is it?”

“If things go wrong- if Thanos gets me… promise me you’ll kill me.”

“... _What?”_

“I know something he doesn't. Something he can’t find out. _Ever.”_

Gamora’s heart sinks.

“What do you know?”

Peter shakes his head.

“If I tell you, you’d be in danger too.”

Gamora reaches out to squeeze his hand.

“We’re already in danger together.”

He doesn’t squeeze back. He removes his hand. She stiffens from the sting of rejection.

“This is different. And I want you- _need_ you to live.”

“Peter-”

“Promise me you’ll kill me.”

Gamora shakes her head, and stops trying to hold back her tears.

“This isn’t fair.”

“Gamora- please-” Peter takes her forgotten switchblade, and gently curls her fingers around it.

He pulls her hand towards himself, his hand encased around her fingers, encased around her blade.

“Promise me,” he whispers.

It feels like forever before Gamora finally nods.

Their kiss tastes like goodbye.

 

*

 

“Let him go.”

The world is on fire, and the air is choked with smoke. Thanos grins. Gamora tightens her grip on her blaster.

“Ah, the girlfriend.”

“Gamora…” Peter wheezes out.

“Let. Him. Go.”

“Gamora… not him.”

No.

This can’t be happening.

“You promised.”

This isn’t fair.

Thanos speaks, but she ignores him. She stares at Peter instead, taking in his pleading eyes and his tear-stained face.

This isn’t how she wants to remember him.

“I love you, more than anything.” Her voice cracks, but she doesn’t sob.

Peter doesn’t deserve this- he deserves to die at an old age after a long fulfilling life, or even in the middle of one of their grand, reckless, saving-people adventures.

The only thing she can give him is a quick death.

She slides her blaster back into its holster.

She draws out her switchblade.

And lunges.

But the blade smacks uselessly against something hard with a sharp _crack._

Gamora stills. There’s suddenly a thick steel wall blocking her from Peter.

_No._

She throws herself at it, determined to cut it open, push it away, _anything._

“Peter!”

“You’re quite the fighter,” Thanos says from the other side. “I like you.”

“No! _Peter!”_

The wall eventually dissolves, but by the time she lands on her bruised and bleeding knuckles, they’re already long gone.

 

*

 

“I thought you might be hungry.”

Peter stares numbly at the small bowl of gruel. He can’t even muster the energy to feel offended.

“Thought you could get rid of me with poison now that I’m just a weak human?”

“I wouldn’t waste food like that. Besides, you’re more than just your Celestial powers, Peter.”

He recoils from Thanos’ words.

“That… sounds exactly like something someone who actually gives a damn about me would say. But coming from _you-_ ”

“And what makes you so sure I don’t ‘give a damn’ about you?”

Thanos actually looks genuinely curious. Peter can’t believe this.

“Are you fucking kidding me? You took me from my family when I was just a kid-”

“I saved you. They were scared of you, because of your powers.”

“My mum had just died. I watched her- we watched her. Grandpa was going to raise me-”

“She died because of you. You couldn’t control your powers. And you ran away from them, which was how I found you. I was the first to see the worth of your powers. Of you.”

“Bullshit.”

Peter never needed anyone to see the worth of those powers. His time with the Guardians of the Galaxy had taught him as much.

(But that doesn’t stop the slight twist in his chest)

“Who comforted you after the heavier sparring sessions with Ebony? Who fought Ego for you? You have no idea how painful it was to realise that you had run away with Ego’s other spawn. My victory was worth nothing because I had failed to bring you back home.”

Peter doesn’t say anything. He can’t. The twist in his chest has become painful.

“I care about you, my son. I always have. The least you can do is tell me where the Soul Stone is.”

Peter’s knuckles are white when he raises his chin at Thanos.

“No.”

 

*

 

“Vormir!”

Blue and purple lights fade, but Peter’s mind is still ringing with the echoes of Nebula’s screams and the rattles of her metal parts. He takes a shaky step closer to where his sister has been strung up, each part of her taken apart and put on display. The design cruelly reminds Peter of the times he had won their fights- _he_ did this to her, the display seems to accuse.

“The Stone is on Vormir,” he whispers, reaching out a comforting hand, but there isn’t a part of Nebula whole enough to place it.

“Show me.”

Peter doesn’t need to turn around to know that Thanos is grinning smugly.

 

*

 

When Gamora first meets the Avengers, it goes like this:

“I’m only going to ask you once- where’s Peter?”

The strange creature under Gamora’s headlock stiffens. She digs her blaster into his neck in response.

“Who- what- Peter?” he squeaks out. “Uh, nope, neverheardthatnamebefore-”

The armoured man’s helmet dissolves, revealing a pale, furious face.

“What do you want with him?”

“What do I want- Thanos _took_ him. Now tell me where he is, or _this one-_ ” She tightens her grip. “-is getting his head turned into a pile of mush.”

“Wait what,” Gamora’s hostage suddenly says.

“Thanos took him-? Wait. You think we’re with Thanos.”

“Aren’t you?”

But they aren’t, because they’re the Avengers. Thor’s friends. If Gamora was in her right mind she would’ve been embarrassed by the misunderstanding. But Thanos has once again burnt her world to hell and back, and she’s running on nothing but fury and determination.

She learns that the Terran adolescent she had held hostage is also named Peter, but that’s about where the similarities end.

She also learns that the Guardians of the Galaxy get along with the Avengers like oil and water, and she’s becoming increasingly convinced that their team-up will destroy the universe instead of saving it.  

Gamora sighs and turns away from Stark’s attempts to wrangle Drax’s attention.

She’ll just have to see if they’re in the one universe where they win.

 

*

 

Thanos’ tears aren’t genuine.

They can’t be.

“No. This isn’t love.”

Peter wants to run. He wants the dignity of dying before he can get killed.

“I’m sorry, little one.”

The howls of the icy winds swallow Peter’s screams and he can only struggle weakly against the iron-tight grip around his arm as he gets dragged closer and closer to the edge of the cliff.

The last thing he sees is the shadow of Death looming over him, if Death were capable of remorse.

He falls.

 

*

 

They have Thanos trapped.

Gamora steps towards him.

“I thought you’d be harder to catch. But I guess you aren’t so strong after all. Where is Peter?”

“My… Peter…?” Thanos rasps weakly.

“Where. Is. He.”

It is Mantis who realises it first.

“He’s in anguish…”

“Good.”

“He’s mourning… Peter…” Mantis whimpers and the lights in her antennae flicker.

Gamora sees red.

She faintly registers Stark speaking to her, but in that moment the only thing which exists in the world is her raw desire to _hurt_ the man before her.

“You didn’t,” she spits. “You _asshole._ Tell me you didn’t!”

She whips her switchblade out, and she’s ready to slice his face open, gouge his eyes out until the blades are stained as red as the ruby-studded hilt.

But in that moment, a sob wracks through Mantis’ entire body and her face twists from the agony of being forced to grieve her dead brother through his murderer.

Her antennae flicker again, and so does her control over Thanos’ mind.

Thanos breaks free.

 

*

 

Gamora screams in rage and stumbles back onto her feet again, gripping onto her blaster like a lifeline.

“ _Where is he?_ ”

He was _right there._ She nearly had him, she _nearly-_

But all she sees is Stark, propped up in his torn armour like a fallen soldier. He doesn’t look like a man gearing up for the last stretch of battle.

He looks like a man on the other end of it.

Gamora’s heart sinks to the barren earth beneath her feet.

“We lost.”

 

*

 

Gamora’s world crumbles into dust.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Note: In canon Ego only finds Peter after word gets out about Peter’s non-mortal heritage following the events of GOTG, but since Peter has been an infamous assassin since his teens here, Ego finds him much earlier
> 
> You can find me on [tumblr](https://aphrodaisyacs.tumblr.com/) and [pillowfort](https://pillowfort.io/aphrodaisyacs) :)


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